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Wednesday, July 29, 2020

openig sentece for my story

Hello readers welcome back to my blog, 
w.a.l.t write an interesting first sentence to hook our reader.
My first sentence was " I thought he was playing too much then his mum came in with a present." and my improved sentence was "The boy was playing Playstation I can see the TV in his eyes air was blowing there was a pack of chips lying down on the floor on his back." Do you like my improved sentence.
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1 comment:

  1. Mrs CassidyAugust 3, 2020 at 7:54 PM

    Well done Laiseni.
    You have done a good job at making your sentence have some WOW factor.
    What flavour chips was the boy eating?.My favourite is salt and vinegar.I like eating them in a fresh bread sandwich.

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